Reclaim, reclaim, reclaim, reclaiminвЂ™ my time Just another good laugh in our group chat Who was lying when they told you you was all that? You claimed you were afraid to lose me but in reality, you were really afraid of losing the control you attempted to have over me. You are the most insecure man I have ever met and that insecurity is a part of what taught me my dislikes in a man. More than the idea of just feeling physically safe but to feel emotionally and mentally safe as well. The one thing you made me realize is that I need safety in a relationship. There is no room for these feelings in my life, as they were prolonging the process for me moving on. Better yet, I wish I could dump these feelings out of my body and burn them like trash. I really wish you could come pick up all the feelings I have for you and take them with you. Reality sunk in when I realized it was time for me to move on and finally leave the feelings I had for you in the past. If only I could reclaim the time I spent with you. Neither you nor your sex were really that good. Looking back on that situationship, what the hell was I thinking ew. You drowning, baby, вЂ™cause you ainвЂ™t go no strokesвЂќ Good loving is more than fucking, sex just ainвЂ™t enoughД®ngine running, but donвЂ™t leave out the station вЂњYou be talking all that mess and still canвЂ™t back it up I dated your potential when I should have only dated your red flags, hence not dating you at all. You were the one who never committed to me, I was just naive enough in the moment to commit to a man that was never mine. You did not deserve me in any shape, form, or capacity.

You had me believing I had neglected to appropriately embrace your ideas of a relationship between us, however, it was all you. You seemingly always attempted to make me feel as if I were in the wrong gaslighting me to believe I was the reason you would not commit to me. It wasnвЂ™t fair to me when you randomly popped up just to check in. Revisiting old feelings of love and lust was not conducive to my emotional or mental stability. I was not your revolving door to play with, like some juvenile child seeing a door that spins repeatedly for the first time. You know who else plays mind games to throw you off your path by presenting you with something appealing, the devil. It took me too long to realize that your kind gestures and outwardly appealing good heart were your subtle way of controlling me and ensuring that you still were able to open the door to my life. I never really knew what it meant, that is until you came crawling along with your flees. My mom taught me the phrase вЂњonce a dog, always a dog,вЂќ in relation to men. In actuality, turns out you were only in and out for sex.

You were unfair to me masking your internalized insecurities to look like care and concern. Your pop-up conversations happened too often after we would break things off.

Over the years, we have had our share of ups and downs that led to our bridge becoming too narrow to hold us both. I was good to you more good than the good your little brain could have ever comprehended. I can honestly say that you did not deserve me. I owe it to myself to sit in these feelings, to embrace the negative aspects of that part of my life, and to work towards forgiveness on my own time. I would say that I have some good memories of you but right now all I have is anger and rage toward you, and thatвЂ™s okay. It took me a while to notice that you had the potential to be emotionally abusive, manipulative, and just a complete a**hole.

You actually remind me of the Pisces but far worse. You are by far the most toxic man I have ever met in my life. You, sir, are the spawn of satan and a part of the reason I decided to seek therapy.

Jazmine sullivan insecure challenge